Friday, March 11, 2011

Tsunami proves Astrology was right all along

As Uranus entered Aries on Friday March 11th (Ninth wave was on Wednesday) an 8.9 earthquake hit Japan. The planets moved and the earth experienced a shift in the tectonic plates. This demonstrates that a 5000 year tradition has been effectively determining causation in all fields of human, geological and event horizons on planet Gaia (earth). Scientists, somehow failing to understand how earthquakes happen, have simply resigned themselves to attempting to predict future quakes through seismology and studying the shifting of tectonic plates on the different layered shelves of the earth.

As one Astrologer said, "Our ancestors weren't just painting kids cartoons that mapped out future events...their map was based on the planets and stars."

Another Astrologer added, "While in the past there has never been a tsunami when Uranus entered Aries on the 11th day of the month, this event is not merely correlation but causation. If both a tsunami and an astrological event happened at around the same time then the two have to be connected. Obviously the movement of Uranus caused this to happen."

A colleague of the two astrologers, a yoga teacher in Silverlake, said, "Astrology stakes its claim on its predictive power... although not a single astrologer predicted this tsunami we are taking ownership of the event, for it serves as proof that astrology is a science of the planetary bodies. According to us, who never saw this coming, we were right."

Dave an Irish-American convert to Shamanic healing further stated, "This failure to predict the tsunami is not the fault of astrologers practicing in the community. Most astrologers spent their time reading the financial and romantic lives of self-obsessed narcissistic people into the stars, and simply missed this oncoming event due to being distracted by who Sue or Jane might end up marrying once Mercury slips out of retrograde."

Furthermore, we know from reliable resources like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and Esther Hicks that the causation of reality is our thoughts. Many have asked in the wake of this tragedy, "How and why did this happen?" The answer is simple: the Japanese have incurred this terrible tragedy upon themselves. The Stars were simply responding to the negative thought patterns emanating as a conglomerated mass of conscious garbage produced by the residents of the islands of Japan. In turn the stars exerted influence upon the shifting plates of the earth and caused a quake. This is simple math derived from the science of New Age Astrology. The Japanese did this to themselves. It's so simple, duh!

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