Experts have conferred to determine why former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has such a ginormous vagina. Some have compared Palin's vaginal cave to the grand canyon, others are adamant that such a comparison is an exaggeration.
As one republican senator stated in her defense, "Her vagina is no bigger than Aretha Franklin's or any other woman of stature, such as Roseanne Barr or Rosie O'Donnell."
While more moderate republican officials admit, "She's pretty damn big down there. It's no accident she's a Christian, her genitals are biblical in their proportions."
Fox News insists, "Former Governor Palin's pelvic area is well within the normative range for a woman of large Nordic descent." While Glenn Beck has been drawing complex diagrams on his weekly show to demonstrate the non-linear math behind her "hairy clam."
The biology lab at UC Davis in conjunction with geographers from Cal State have released a joint statement, "The reason Sarah Palin's beeve is so large is due to big family breeding and the Alaskan climate. After popping out half a dozen meat-head kids while in middle age, compounded by her teen pregnancy, can make any woman's vagina the dream cave dive for extreme spelunkers."
Rumors are circulating that Dick Cheney may be the reason why Palin's crotch area could "swallow a Buick." As one insider commented, "Cheney's pretty damn big down there, and well you know... as they say a woman's only way into politics is on her back. I mean they fucked. If that's what you're asking."