Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Guru Guide to Low Calorie Eating


Famous Indian Guru Sri Amritananda was outraged by a visiting Westerner at his ashram who commented on the high cholesterol contained in most Indian fried foods. In reply Guruji said, "If a person wants to eat some fried pakodi and he should not eat fried stuff, what does he do? If this person eats away some fried Pakodis and goes back in time to the state, in which he was there before eating pakodis and erases his pakodi eating experience and comes back to the present, would it help him? By this, he eats pakodis and still be able to be in the state of no-pakodis-eating-whatsoever. Slight time management does the trick," he continued his mouth full of pakodi, "If one is so fond of eating pakodis and still likes to remain unaffected, he can experience the above two states continuously by being in a loop, the Pakodi Loop."

Everyone at the ashram was deeply edified by this highly scientific conversation. Guruji had once again put everyone in "let me think more deeply" mode. Since this incident quantum physicists have begun to do research on the "Pakodi Loop" and believe that time travel may be possible for people capable of contorting their fingers into geometric shapes. Neuroscientists at Harvard medical school have also begun to do research on the effects of long-term Pakodi eating in conjunction with "Pakodi Looping" on the human brain.

3 comments:

  1. My Guruji, the famous Guru Sri Amritananda, has domed huts at his ashram ... they are good for time travel. I'm offended and will get back to thinking more deeply with a finger vagina in front of my face.

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  3. Weight Watchers has now incorporated Time Travel into their weight loss plan

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