Friday, February 18, 2011

Elections Threatened by Self-Fellating Yogi

The upcoming Presidential election is under threat of irrelevance due to recent findings in quantum physics. As one Santa Monica, CA, based urban priestess/integral/somatic psychologist stated "All that exists are your own thoughts... the specific story/narrative you are choosing to tell yourself... you are manifesting your own reality each and every moment. When someone else comes into your life it is solely due to your own creative powers."

A prominent chiropractor further commented, "There is no foolproof method of verifying if anything exists outside of your own mind. Studies suggest that you might be the figment of my imagination. Conversely I may be a figment of your imagination."

If what these theoretical mathematical equations postulate (in quantum physics) happen to have real world relevance then all attempts at social, economic, and governmental change are now not only futile but utterly useless.

This has gained even more traction as the elections draw closer due to a recent discovery by researchers at MIT. Their official report states, "We have reason to believe that we are all figments in the imagination/masturbatory fantasies of some trust fund kid living in Santa Monica, CA, slumming it as a raw foodist yogi... in fact we have reason to believe he is self-fellating at this very moment.. this is even more troubling since this report itself is an imagining/meta moment in the narrative arc this rich kid is dreaming up."

Millions of jobless Americans now know who to blame for their financial woes... but as research suggests, none of it is real anyways...

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