Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
It is pretty much a scientific fact by now that when you want something the entire Universe conspires to help you get it. The key to engaging the power of the Universe in your life is dependent upon deciphering the signposts that guide you to your destiny.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Prominent Guru, Sri Amritananda of Vishakapatnam, discovered a huge geological find in the hill country outside of Vizag, India. Two naturally occurring hills have been confirmed to exactly match the physiological dimensions of human mammary glands or as one yogi described them, "big old mamma titties."
Archeologists have uncovered a manuscript written in the hand of God. Near the Dead Sea lies an ancient outpost of God's chosen people. Within a cave near that sacred community fragments of a manuscript were found that matched the handwriting and signature of the authoritative tablets of the Ten Commandments, thereby confirming it to be the singular handwriting of Yahweh father of Christ and Lord of the Jewish people. Paleographers have decoded the ancient Hebrew text and are now calling it the Temple Scroll.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Famous Indian Guru Sri Amritananda was outraged by a visiting Westerner at his ashram who commented on the high cholesterol contained in most Indian fried foods. In reply Guruji said, "If a person wants to eat some fried pakodi and he should not eat fried stuff, what does he do? If this person eats away some fried Pakodis and goes back in time to the state, in which he was there before eating pakodis and erases his pakodi eating experience and comes back to the present, would it help him? By this, he eats pakodis and still be able to be in the state of no-pakodis-eating-whatsoever. Slight time management does the trick," he continued his mouth full of pakodi, "If one is so fond of eating pakodis and still likes to remain unaffected, he can experience the above two states continuously by being in a loop, the Pakodi Loop."
Everyone at the ashram was deeply edified by this highly scientific conversation. Guruji had once again put everyone in "let me think more deeply" mode. Since this incident quantum physicists have begun to do research on the "Pakodi Loop" and believe that time travel may be possible for people capable of contorting their fingers into geometric shapes. Neuroscientists at Harvard medical school have also begun to do research on the effects of long-term Pakodi eating in conjunction with "Pakodi Looping" on the human brain.
The popular television show Xena Warrior Princess wrote Hanuman, the Hindu monkey god, into the fictional plotline of an episode outraging Hindus around the world. One local man said, "Who would win in a fight: Superman, Batman, or Hanuman?" This reporter responded, "I don't know." To which the man replied, "Hanuman! Are you kidding me? Hanuman would win because he's real! Superman and Batman are myths..." thereby settling the matter forever. Another commentator added, "What would you think if we made a movie about Moses or your Jesus? How would you feel?" To which network execs sent out a memo with a link to imdb